I remember being younger and feeling so compelled by the mystery of God and caught up in the wonder. I’m trying to pinpoint the reason for the shift into feeling like I needed more to “support” my faith. I think there were a few reasons: hearing some faith leaders talk about needing more than your feelings, hearing skepticism from people when I reached college age, and a personal desire to get to the meat of things.
For me, the experiences you describe (wonder, glory, intimacy) led me to want to understand Him MORE. I wanted teaching that tugged on those threads. But I kept going to church and getting the same vague messages that didn’t really dig in. People just wanted the surface feeling good parts, without digging. Then you’d turn the other way and find people very focused on the guard rails and definitions without any of the wonder.
I think I ended up just stuck in a place of craving more of the experience, but rooted in growth of my understanding - and I got neither. It’s refreshing to see others digging just like I was, and has renewed my determination!
That renewal can be so exciting. It's funny, because Christians confess that we are also spiritual beings, but we often suppress it and try to thrive in intellectualizing the faith. I'm not against the intellectual element (I quite like it), but the imbalance leaves us malnourished and spiritually immature.
I’ve often said that sanctification is the lifelong process of narrowing the gap between who we are in Christ (position) and how we experience transformation through Christ (practice) becoming more like Him in our relationships and lifestyle. Having said this I’ve found it too easy to lose the mystery, wonder, awe and intimacy with God. The head and the heart, our thinking and feelings oftentimes become disconnected and imbalanced in living out the reality of Christ-likeness. As a boomer I tend to think in linear terms of steps to take and processes to follow and then life itself blows it up in my face. The late Mike Yaconelli fleshes it out in his book, “Messy Spirituality”.
Chronic illness (neuroinflamation) has affected my brain in ways I never expected. I no longer have a desire to devour scripture, books, or even sermons the way I used to, so I probably won’t read this book about attachments of which you write, but you’ve given me some things to think about for sure.
Adjusting to finding God outside of the word and sacraments has been incredibly hard and yet I have no desire to go back to church at this point. I didn’t leave the church, the church left me. Maybe now it’s more about looking for God in every human being in which His image resides?
I don’t know if I’ll make the attempt to keep looking for a church again, but I would eventually like to find a small group of Christians to have some prayer and fellowship with though.
I recently heard someone in a more charismatic camp say that Christians who have become entrepreneurs are the apostles the church rejected. That’s an interesting observation!
I remember being younger and feeling so compelled by the mystery of God and caught up in the wonder. I’m trying to pinpoint the reason for the shift into feeling like I needed more to “support” my faith. I think there were a few reasons: hearing some faith leaders talk about needing more than your feelings, hearing skepticism from people when I reached college age, and a personal desire to get to the meat of things.
For me, the experiences you describe (wonder, glory, intimacy) led me to want to understand Him MORE. I wanted teaching that tugged on those threads. But I kept going to church and getting the same vague messages that didn’t really dig in. People just wanted the surface feeling good parts, without digging. Then you’d turn the other way and find people very focused on the guard rails and definitions without any of the wonder.
I think I ended up just stuck in a place of craving more of the experience, but rooted in growth of my understanding - and I got neither. It’s refreshing to see others digging just like I was, and has renewed my determination!
That renewal can be so exciting. It's funny, because Christians confess that we are also spiritual beings, but we often suppress it and try to thrive in intellectualizing the faith. I'm not against the intellectual element (I quite like it), but the imbalance leaves us malnourished and spiritually immature.
I’ve often said that sanctification is the lifelong process of narrowing the gap between who we are in Christ (position) and how we experience transformation through Christ (practice) becoming more like Him in our relationships and lifestyle. Having said this I’ve found it too easy to lose the mystery, wonder, awe and intimacy with God. The head and the heart, our thinking and feelings oftentimes become disconnected and imbalanced in living out the reality of Christ-likeness. As a boomer I tend to think in linear terms of steps to take and processes to follow and then life itself blows it up in my face. The late Mike Yaconelli fleshes it out in his book, “Messy Spirituality”.
Thanks for the recommendation!
That looks really good. I'd seen pics of the book - and I assumed the art was a patella and leg musculature, lol.
Only you would see that, Charles!
Chronic illness (neuroinflamation) has affected my brain in ways I never expected. I no longer have a desire to devour scripture, books, or even sermons the way I used to, so I probably won’t read this book about attachments of which you write, but you’ve given me some things to think about for sure.
Adjusting to finding God outside of the word and sacraments has been incredibly hard and yet I have no desire to go back to church at this point. I didn’t leave the church, the church left me. Maybe now it’s more about looking for God in every human being in which His image resides?
I don’t know if I’ll make the attempt to keep looking for a church again, but I would eventually like to find a small group of Christians to have some prayer and fellowship with though.
I recently heard someone in a more charismatic camp say that Christians who have become entrepreneurs are the apostles the church rejected. That’s an interesting observation!