45 Comments

I waited to read this when I could savor it with a cup of coffee and the sound of birdsong all around me, sunlight filtering through the trees, reminding me of you — my beautiful friend who I associate with peace, reality, nature, and God’s glory on display. I am so overjoyed for your brother and his new bride to have this moment — this foundation for all that is to come — laid with your help and your unique voice and blessing. To have your eyes looking into theirs, conveying wisdom, innocence, and the divine feminine love that reflects the heart of God for them. Aimee, I don’t know that you don’t have some pastor in ya, sister! Lord knows you have helped shepherd many hearts and continue to do so. For anyone disappointed in you or in this beauty, I am truly sorry for them. In their zeal to appease the God of their understanding, they are missing the humble, joyful invitation to the feast where we all belong. I love you!

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I miss you so much, Amber! This is so uplifting to hear.

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I think it's lovely. Most churchgoers believe in a one-size-fits-all faith, I've found, although they'd likely deny it. I learned through some of my darkest days that God truly leads His dear children along, but not on the same old path. (He leads us in PATHS of righteousness for His name's sake.) I have learned to be much more accepting of those taking a different path from me. I might not do that thing they're doing, but I rejoice in the fact that they are doing that thing. To your own master you stand or fall. We answer to HIM, not to the judgy ones.

Thanks for sharing this part of your story, and I hope your more traditionally minded followers don't let it bother them!

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Thanks Janet.

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It sounds like it was a joyous occasion. I’m so glad you got to bless your brother this way.

As for those who misunderstand, live your life out loud and don’t let the muggles get you down.

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I love the thoughtfulness and faithfulness you give to every decision. What a meaningful ask by your brother, and act of love and celebration to perform.

Congrats to all!

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This post is full of truth, beauty, and goodness. You did the right thing. And congratulations to your family!

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Sure sounds like faithfulness to me.

Strong work.

Thanks for this beautiful story.

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You did the right thing for the right reason. I am wondering who will officiate my funeral, I would also need to find an Aimee, for authenticity and transparent truth

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Congratulations to you Aimee and the newlyweds! What an honor for you to beautifully bless them on this joyous occasion! I am sure it was a very meaningful and memorable moment for them. Glad to see the love and positive support you are getting in the comments! (No doubt, the sanctimonious and pharisaical detractors will come out with knives soon enough).

I appreciate the time you took to research the history of weddings. On the topic of ordination, I would recommend to any who’s interested, to read Marjorie Warkentin’s excellent study, “Ordination: A Biblical-Historical View”— sadly it’s out of print but I’m sure used copies can be had.

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Thanks for the recommendation and the encouragement, Paul!

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Aimee, this is beautiful. I appreciate the history you shared and the cultural studies. It’s not one size fits all and that to me is what many miss, spend some time traveling and we find that there are many traditions. You’ll always treasure this meaningful time and so will they, it’s beautiful

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Yes, it was such a special day that will always be treasured.

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This is beautiful.

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My 24 year old daughter married her high school sweetheart on Friday as well. Instead of choosing her pastor grandfather or a pastor that she doesn’t have a relationship with, she chose her oldest brother whose faith she admires. Our state does not require an ordained minister but they had also been married in city hall to cover their bases. My son did an excellent job of pointing them to God’s design of mirroring His view of their spouse, as His beloved creation, back to that spouse.

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I felt such a sibling bond doing this. What a gift for you to watch your son do this for your daughter!

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Oh my gosh, Aimee! I love this so much. I found AMM too and it’s been so beautiful to officiate weddings. Like you, it feels like I’m “in my zone,” and has been very healing ❤️‍🩹

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Fist bump!

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Good for you

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Congratulations to your brother and new sister in law! What a beautiful way to bless them!

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Thanks for sharing… your toil in researching and decision making shows so much honour and integrity. Really beautiful in every direction. Congrats on such a meaningful, Spirit filled celebration!

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Aimee, being more of a Baptist than a Protestant, I do not believe that marriage is a sacrament. You made sure that your brother and sister-in-law were legally married, and that is all that is needed.

I lived in another culture for over a year, where marriages were negotiated by families. It was a polygamous society and divorces were not uncommon - the village elders served as mediators for divorce negotiations, and also restricted polygamous marriages, for example, a man couldn't marry two women who were closely related. The experience helped me understand one important point about marriage - it must be done in a way recognized by the surrounding community/society, if for no other reason than the protection of the woman and her children. There has been a movement in certain reactionary (Christian far-right?) circles in North America to say marriage is a Christian covenant and therefore needs no recognition by the state, so marriage can be officiated by unlicensed (by the state) people. I personally know of one such case and have heard of others. Here is what is so troubling about them - what protection is there for a woman married by such an unlicensed ceremony? In one case I heard of second hand, the 'husband', using some heretical justification, illegally contracted a second marriage while still married to his first wife, in a ceremony overseen by a supposed church elder. In licensing marriage, the state holds authority to negotiate divorce proceedings and demand child support payments, while also preventing unlawful marriages, such as bigmay or incest - a function that I would say falls within the description of government in Romans 13.

I do think that there is a scriptural ordination precedent given in the appointment of Paul and Barnabas by the Antiochan church and Paul's mention of Timothy receiving the gift of preaching by the "laying on of hands". I recently left a church, in part because they had called a young man who was not ordained and there was no mechanism to ordain him, by which I mean an extensive examination by trusted and trained elders followed by the prayerful laying on of hands. The subsequent preaching and conduct by this young man showed a troubling lack of qualification for the ministry (but hey, at least the pastor was male, right?). But I agree that marriage officiants do not require such pastoral church ordination.

[I would go further and say, due to the priesthood of all believers in Jesus Christ (I Peter 2:9), that any baptised Christian can baptise another professing Christian and communion can be taken, after reverent self examination, without an ordained elder presiding - although I would prefer a trusted and ordained elder to do both - but that is coming from my Baptist background combined with experience living in a place without an established church.]

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Wow, you've seen some stuff, Holly!

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