It’s so easy to confuse morality for spirituality. Because we know how to measure that better; we know what it looks like. And morality can mimic what the Bible calls fruits of the Spirit. But it’s not the same.
Eugene Peterson describes a crisis he went through about 4 years into his vocation as a pastor in the beginning of his book, Under the Unpredictable Plant. He describes a chasm between his personal faith and his pastoral vocation. Peterson was looking for a spirituality adequate to his vocation amidst the “religious economics,” career advancement, and competitiveness he was experiencing in it.
We look to our pastors to help equip us with a spirituality adequate for discipleship. This is what we are trying to figure out, right? How that goes. How our personal faith practices out in our homes, in our relationships, and in our jobs. How to experience intimacy with God that draws out our own faces before each other. But Peterson believes that many pastors struggle with this too. His book is an exploration of vocational holiness. Because one can be devout in piety and miss holiness. A faith fueled by mere will power is a banal spiritual life. And “holiness is not banal. Holiness is blazing.” Peterson wanted a life “soaked in the Spirit.”
He found help in the story of Jonah, which he calls a parable and a prayer (while not making a claim one way or the other about the historicity of the book, not the point). Jonah is not the model we would think of to look to for rich spirituality. The first thing he does when God tells him to go and preach in Nineveh is to flee from the Lord’s presence. He sets out to Tarshish, a sort of Shangri-la land. Jonah is running from the face of God, from the intimacy of God. Because he does not want to see God work his love and grace in Nineveh. And he knew he would (Jonah 4:1-3).
How many pastors would rather be in a Shangri-la congregation than the ones they are given? Peterson spends some good pages on that!
But here’s the thing, the obedient Jonah is worse than the disobedient Jonah. At least when Jonah was running from God, he has compassion on his ship companions, fesses up, and sacrifices himself, telling them to throw him overboard. Then our homeboy gets swallowed by a giant fish for three days and three nights. But even after crying out to the Lord, being vomited out on dry land, and hearing God’s command a second time, we don’t see a softened Jonah. “Jonah obeys to the letter the command of God, but Jonah betrays the Spirit of God with his anger.” Peterson calls it professional obedience. And this gap is serious. A leader can look the part—produce “results”—and betray the Spirit. Peterson warns that “it is in our virtuous behavior that we are liable to the gravest sins.” Don’t we know it!
And yet, God still uses Jonah. It’s the “wonderful, gracious surprise” in both Jonah’s disobedience and obedience:
“In Jonah’s escapist disobedience the sailors in the ship prayed to the Lord and entered into a life of faith: ‘Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows’ (1:16).”
“In Jonah’s angry obedience, the Ninevites were all saved: ‘When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God repented of the evil which he had said he would do to them; and he did not do it’ (3:10).”
Peterson points out that instead of getting the picture of the sort of pastor (or leader, or believer) we want to be in this story, we get a picture of the sort of pastor we are. And that the mirror of this double burden would be too much to bear if it weren’t for “this other dimension of the story—that God works his purposes through who we actually are, our rash disobedience and our heartless obedience, and generously uses our lives as he finds us to do his work.”
That doesn’t excuse an inadequate spirituality. But it does give me reassurance that with all the church scandals, the abuse, cover-up, and pastors that miss the mark, God will make himself known.
And there is something else here for us to learn about adequate spirituality. Will power won’t get us there. Neither will professional obedience. Desire does. But it’s so easy to for our desire to turn the wrong way. To experience intimacy with God, and then make it about our own egos. Our own vision of what God should be doing. We are so good at distorting desire. Wanting badly to look spiritual, we miss the Spirit.
It’s often in coming to the end of ourselves that we find that portal to our spiritual life again. A “cheerful humility,” as Peterson calls it. A trust that God is here, moving, loving. An embracing of the mystery of it all. Spirituality is in the underground, the unseen root system where God works. Spirituality is in the face of our neighbor—yes, that one that you are looking past to try and find Shangri-la. Spirituality is in the looking and listening for Christ who is hiding in plain sight. It’s the surprise in finding him where we least expect. And wanting to be there too.
Sidebar before the real comment: Taylor Swift’s new album has a song called “Thank You Aimee” with strategically placed capital letters and it gave me the giggles every time I tried to write that for you. 🤣
Oh man, so many of your points (and Peterson’s too by extension) reminds me of Tim Mackie’s sermon series (he’s the founder of The Bible Project but used to be a pastor many years ago) on Jonah as a dark comedic satire of a prophetic book. But I never thought of it being an example of how God uses us and ministers to us exactly where we are, and then calls us higher. 🙌🏻
Sounds like a book I need to move to the front of the list of books to read as we navigate another Pastor scandal…news of faithful friends who are leaving bloodied and deeply bruised. They need a place to heal and truly worship although they are going to be deeply missed.💔
Administrators/boards, and consistories that are still covering up, controlling, and throwing around authority because there is no accountability here on earth below. 😢. Going to a Ladies Bible Study only because of the concern for the hearts of these women and their watered down theology. Blowing past the Eternal Subordination of the Son blatantly stated throughout a whole page. Knowing my Pastor doesn’t agree with any of this stuff but his Consistory has silenced him as well.😓
Okay…now that I got that off my chest maybe it is time to go listen to some Swift myself.💓